Tamara's Journeys

Journeys as great as the destinations.

Tales of Florida - Tamara's Journeys

Tales of Florida

January 21st, 2015

Gather around my friends. I’m about to share tales of a distant land called Florida. A land of dreams, eternal youth and overgrown reptiles. Let’s get started …

Once upon  a time a retired couple from Michigan were driving their RV across Florida and were nearing a town called Kissimmee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it — KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME?

They grew more perplexed as they drove into the town. Since they were hungry, they pulled into a restaurant to get something to eat. At the counter, the man said to the waitress; “My wife and I can’t seem to be able to figure out how to pronounce this place. Will you tell me where we are and say it very slowly so that I can understand?”

The woman looked at him and said; “Buuurrrgerrr Kiiiinnnng.”

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Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, “Where have you been?”

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look, Michael, look what I’ve made.”

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, “What is it?” “It’s a planet,” replied God, “and I’ve put Life on it. I’m going to call it Earth and it’s going to be a great place of balance.”

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. The Archangel, impressed by God’s work, then pointed to a large land mass and said, “What’s that one?”

“Ah,” said God. “That’s Florida, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, streams and climate. The people from Florida are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace.”

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, “What about balance, God?” You said there would be balance!”

God replied wisely, “Wait until you see the idiots I’m sending them from the North every winter!

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A friend of mine told me the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission is currently advising all hikers, fisherman, and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for alligators while in Palm Beach, Broward and Dade Counties. They advise people to wear noise-producing devices; such as, little bells on their clothing, to alert, but not startle, the alligators unexpectedly.

They also advise the carrying of pepper spray in case of an encounter with an alligator. It is also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of alligator activity.

People should recognize the difference between small young alligator and large adult alligator droppings: Young alligator droppings are smaller and contain fish bones and possibly bird feathers. Adult alligators droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper spray.

Tamara's Journeys

Journeys as great as the destinations.