Putting together Halloween humor has been a fun task. With surprised gratification I woke in the middle of the night thinking, for example, that a vampire’s favorite ice cream is veinilla (who would’ve thought?!) and that a ghost with a broken leg is called a “Hoblin Goblin.”
It might be obvious, but I take great enjoyment in all sorts of word play and creative punning. Such as, “Where did the goblin throw the football?” “Over the ghoul line.”
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? White Pillowcases.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? [This one is so bad that it’s actually quite good!] Bootiques.
What do you call someone who puts poison in a person’s corn flakes? A cereal killer.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire? A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A stake sandwich.
What do you call a witch in the desert? A sandwitch.
What does a vampire fear the most? Tooth decay.
What’s the problem with twin witches? You never know which witch is which.
What do ghosts serve for dessert? Ice Scream.
What did the mommy ghost say to the baby ghost? Don’t spook until you’re spoken to.
What did the mummy say to the detective? Let’s wrap this case up.
What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving? Fasten your sheet belts.
What’s a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist.
How do monsters tell their future? They read their horrorscope.
How are vampires like false teeth? They both come out at night.
Why do mummies make excellent spies? They’re good at keeping things under wraps.
Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare centers!!!