Tamara's Journeys

Journeys as great as the destinations.

Friday Funnies - Tamara's Journeys

Friday Funnies

February 17th, 2017

An Amishman lived on a quiet, rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. It became so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So he called the sheriff’s office and said, “You’ve got to do something about all of these tourists driving so fast and killing all of my chickens.”  “What do you want me to do?” asked the sheriff. “I don’t care, just do something about these drivers.”         So the next day the sheriff had the county go out and put up a sign that said: SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING. Three days later, the Amishman again called the sheriff and said, “That sign didn’t help a bit. They are still hitting my chickens.”         So the next day, the county put up a sign that said: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY. Again, no change. So the Amishman called and called, every day for three weeks. Finally, he told the sheriff, “Look, your signs are just not working. Mind if I put up one of my own?” The sheriff told him, “Sure thing, let’s see if yours works better.”        He was willing to agree to anything to get him to stop those daily calls. Well, the sheriff got no more calls from the Amishman. After three weeks, he decided to call the Amishman and see how things were going. “Did you put up your sign?” “Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed since. I’ve got to go. I’m very busy.” And he hung up the phone.        The sheriff thought to himself, “I’d better go have a look at that sign. There might be something there that WE could use to slow down drivers…” So the sheriff drove out to the Amishman’s house, and he saw the sign. It was on a whole sheet of plywood. Written in large, yellow letters were the words: SLOW: NUDIST COLONY.

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A young lady visited a dating service and requested, “I’m looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?” The matchmaker said, “What exactly are you looking for?”         “Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour if I don’t go out. Be able to tell me interesting stories when I need a companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.”        The matchmaker entered the information into the computer and, in a matter of moments, handed the results to the woman. The results read, “Buy a television.”

Tamara's Journeys

Journeys as great as the destinations.