Tamara's Journeys

Journeys as great as the destinations.

Friday Funnies - Tamara's Journeys

Friday Funnies

May 29th, 2015

I’m still transitioning from Michigan to Maine and dealing with setting up home and my computer. So my question to you is: What do computers, Yoopers and Mainers have in common? Short answer during May – June: Black Flies 

Long Answer:

1. Log on – Make the wood stove hotter

2. Log off – Don’t add no more wood

3. Monitor – Keep an eye on that wood stove

4. Download – Getting the firewood off the truck

5. Floppy disk – What you get from downloading too much firewood

6. Ram – The thing that splits the firewood

7. Hard Drive – Getting home from work in the winter

8. Prompt – What the US mail service isn’t in the winter

9. Window – What to shut when its cold outside

10. Screen – What to shut in black fly season

11. Byte – What the black flies do

12. Bit – What the black flies did

13. Mega Byte – What the BIG black flies do during trout season

14. Chip – Munchies for TV

15. Micro Chip – What’s left in the bag after you eat chips

16. Modem – What you did to the weeds growing in the driveway

17. Dot matrix – Old Dan Matrix’s wife

18. Lap top – Where the beer spills when you nod off

19. Software – The dumb plastic knives and forks at McDonalds

20. Hardware – Real stainless steel cutlery

21. Mouse – What makes the holes in the Cheerio box

22. Main frame – What holds the house up, hopefully

23. Enter – The only way to win those magazine sweepstakes

24. Web – What a spider makes

25. Web site – High corners of the ceiling

26. Cursor – Someone who swears

27. Search Engine – What you do when the car dies

28. Screen Saver – repair kit for the torn window screen on the camp

29. Home Page – map you keep in your back pocket in case you get lost in the woods

30. Upgrade – Steep hill

31. Server – waitress

32. Mail Server – male waitress. Darn few in Maine

33. MS DOS – Some new disease they discovered

34. Sound Card – One of them technological birthday cards that plays music when you open it

35 User – The neighbor who keeps borrowing your stuff

36. Browser – A problem moose in the garden or blueberry patch

37. Online – good sign there’ll be clean clothes this week

38. Off line – the clothes pins let go and the laundry falls on the ground – better luck next week

 

Tamara's Journeys

Journeys as great as the destinations.