Being on quarantine for Norovirus is no laughing matter at any healthcare facility. The residents I treat have experienced just this for the past two weeks and things are starting to get tense. To break the tension I am telling them jokes such as these:
‘I hate to have to tell you this,” said the Doctor in a sad compassionate voice, “but you have unfortunately been diagnosed with the Norovirus which is highly contagious. We must quarantine you and you’ll only be fed cheese and bologna.” “That’s terrible!” exclaimed the distraught patient, quickly sitting down before he could faint. “I don’t know if I could handle being in quarantine. And the cheese and bologna diet? What’s going on with that anyway I’ve never heard of such a diet before!” “It’s not exactly a diet,” responded the Doctor very matter of factly, “it’s just the only food that will fit under your door.” So bad!!
A man who had spent his whole life hospital isolation was finally released and went to visit a friend. He’d never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the railroad tracks, he heard a whistle, but didn’t know what it was. Predictably, he was hit and thrown to the side of the tracks, with some internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises. After months spent back in the hospital recovering, he was at his friend’s house attending a party. While in the kitchen, he suddenly heard the tea kettle whistling. He grabbed a baseball bat from the nearby closet and bashed the tea kettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushed into the kitchen, saw what had happened, and asked the desert man, “Why’d you ruin my good tea kettle?” The man quickly replied, “Man, you got to kill these things when they’re small.”