This weekend marks one of the greatest motorcycle events in the old west, the Elko “Rumble in the Rubies” Motorcycle Jamboree. (http://www.elkomotorcyclejamboree.com/) Hundreds of motorcycles swarming the area to experience rugged mountains and twisting canyon roads. Their days will be spent loitering in Elko merchant store fronts and nights will be non-stop gambling action, street music and entertainment. I can’t think of a better choice of topic for this week’s funnies. Bikers are funny!
A young man walked into our insurance office to purchase coverage for his new motorcycle. Only one question confused him. “Do you have a lien holder on the vehicle?” “I’ve got a kickstand,” the prospect replied. “Is that the same thing?”
Bikers arrived in Heaven and Gabriel ran to the Lord and said, “I have to talk to you. We have a swarm of bikers up here who are causing problems. They’re swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, and they’re wearing t-shirts instead of robes. There’s BBQ sauce everywhere, especially all over their t-shirts, the dogs are riding in the chariots and chasing the sheep. And they’re wearing cowboy hats and baseball caps instead of halos. They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean and their boots are marking and scratching up the halls of wisdom. There are sun flower seed hulls and chicken wing bones all over the place. On top of all that, they refuse to walk and insist on riding their Hog everywhere.”
The Lord said, “Bikers are Bikers, Gabriel. Heaven is home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil.”
The Devil answered the phone, “Hello, hold on a minute.” The Devil returned to the phone, “OK, I’m back. What can I do for you?” Gabriel replied, “I just want to know what kind of problems you’re having down there.” The Devil said, “Hold on again. I need to check on something.” After about 5 minutes of waiting and trying Gabriel’s angelic patience the Devil returned to the phone and said, “I’m back. Now what was the question?” Gabriel said, “What kind of problems are you having down there?” The Devil said, “Man, I don’t believe this! … Hold on.” This time the Devil was gone for 30 minutes before he returned and said, “I’m sorry Gabriel, I can’t talk right now. Those crazy bikers have put the fire out and are trying to install air conditioning!”
Two guys were roaring down the road toward Elko on a motorcycle when the driver pulled over. His leather jacket had a broken zipper, and he told his friend, “I can’t drive anymore with the wind beating me in the chest like this.” His friend said, “Just put the jacket on backwards.” (brilliant thinking?) They continued down the road but around the next bend they lost control and wiped out. A nearby rancher saw the accident and ran to call the police. The asked him, “Are the bikers showing any signs of life?” “Well,” the rancher replied, “the driver was until I turned his head around the right way!”
I’ll fight the urge to get a tattoo, Mom.