I had to stop driving my car for a while… The tires got dizzy. Or was that me that was dizzy? It’s been me ever since I returned from Salt Lake City. I’m going to focus on making vertigo funny.
A man told the doctor he had severe neck pains, throbbing headaches, and dizzy spells. After a thorough examination, the doctor said there was no mistake about it — he had only two months to live. The doomed man decided to spend all his money and enjoy his remaining life. First, he’d get something he always longed for — a dozen tailor-made silk shirts. While measuring him, the tailor said, “That’s a size 17 neck.” “Hold on,” said the man, “I wear a 15 1/2.” The tailor re-measured the man’s neck and said, “You’re definitely size 17.” The man insisted, “I’m a 15 1/2. I always wear a 15 1/2, and that’s what I want.” “Okay,” said the tailor, “but if you wear a 15 1/2, you’ll have severe neck pains, throbbing headaches, and dizzy spells.”
“Now, Ms. Lyons,” said the doctor, “you say you have shooting pains in your neck, dizziness, and constant nausea. Just for the record, how old are you?” “Why, I’m going to be 29 on my next birthday,” the woman replied indignantly. “Hmmm,” muttered the doctor as he spoke into his recorder, “Pt exhibits a slight loss of memory with dizziness.”
Personal ad in Delray Beach newspaper: Long-term Commitment: Recent Widow Who Has Just Buried Fourth Husband Looking for Someone to Round out a Six-Unit Plot. Dizziness, Fainting, Shortness of Breath Not a Problem.
As long as the world is spinning we’re going to be dizzy. Try to have fun with it.