The 98 year old woman lay in bed not expected to live. Her family gathered around her bed trying to make her last days comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink but she refused. Then one of the grandchildren took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of rum used to make cake at Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at her grandmother’s bed, she held the glass to her lips. The woman drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop! “Mother,” the woman’s son said, “tell us what you would like us to do.” She raised herself up in bed and with a serious look on her face said, “Don’t sell dat cow.”
A priest is driving from the Upper Peninsula downstate to Detroit and gets stopped for speeding in Lansing. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, “Sir, have you been drinking?” “Just water,” says the priest, fingers crossed behind his back. The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?” The priest looks at the bottle and says, “Good Lord! He’s done it again!”
Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
Be sure to come back Sunday for a grand adventure!