A Yooper was sitting at a down-state bar and asked the bartender if he would like to hear a Troll joke. (Troll is the term for anyone living “below the Mackinaw Bridge”) The bartender leaned over and said, “Do you see that guy in the corner? He is the local sheriff, and he is a Troll. The man at end of the bar works for the DNR and he is a troll. And buddy, I myself am of Troll descent. Now, are you sure you still want to tell a Troll joke?” The Yooper replied, “No, not if I have to explain it three times!”
An out-of-stater dies and goes to Heaven. St. Peter is showing him around. Everything is glorious. There is a music hall with every kind of music, all played with angelic perfection. The dining hall offers food beyond compare. And the residences, St. Peter assures him, are comfortable beyond all imagination. On their way to the residence halls, they turn down a hall where everyone is chained to the wall. St. Peter offers no comment as they continue down the long passageway. After a few minutes the man asks St. Peter. “If this is Heaven and everything is so wonderful why are these people chained up?” St Peter answers, “Oh. Those are the downstate Michiganders, if we don’t keep them chained up they try to go to their cabins in the UP on the weekends.”
Lempi took a job with Odovero Construction to paint lines on M28 between Munising and Marquette. The first day he painted ten miles. The boss was very impressed. The second day he painted two miles. The boss was a little disappointed. The third day he only painted 500 feet. The boss sat him down and said,” Lempi, how come you paint ten miles the first day, two miles the next day, but only 500 feet today?”. Lempi replied, “Well boss, each day I get farther and farther away from the paint can”.
Toivo was at the bar in Channing drinking a Stroh’s and watch the Packers on the television when a big tall rancher from Texas came strolling in. The Texan started drinking and bragging to Toivo about how much money he made and how many head of cattle he owned. He said to Toivo in a loud voice, “I can drive all day and never reach the end of my property!” Toivo replied, “Yah, I got a pickup like dat too, mister.”
Two Yoopers are roofing a house, when a big wind comes along and blows down their ladder. Well, it gets dark and they still have not figured out a way down, when the first Yooper gets an idea. He says, “Hey. I got this flashlight. I’ll shine it on the ground and you can climb down the beam of light, set up the ladder, and then I’ll climb down.” The second Yooper says, “No way. I’ll get half the way down and you’ll shut off the light.”
If you’re still unsure where Yooperland is click here: http://dayoopers.com/whatwher.html and if you’ve enjoyed this Yooper selection, please see my previous Yooper based Friday Funnies at: http://emiling.com/friday-funnies-9