Tamara's Journeys

Journeys as great as the destinations.

Friday Funnies

May 29th, 2015

I’m still transitioning from Michigan to Maine and dealing with setting up home and my computer. So my question to you is: What do computers, Yoopers and Mainers have in common? Short answer during May – June: Black Flies 

Long Answer:

1. Log on – Make the wood stove hotter

2. Log off – Don’t add no more wood

3. Monitor – Keep an eye on that wood stove

4. Download – Getting the firewood off the truck

5. Floppy disk – What you get from downloading too much firewood

6. Ram – The thing that splits the firewood

7. Hard Drive – Getting home from work in the winter

8. Prompt – What the US mail service isn’t in the winter

9. Window – What to shut when its cold outside

10. Screen – What to shut in black fly season

11. Byte – What the black flies do

12. Bit – What the black flies did

13. Mega Byte – What the BIG black flies do during trout season

14. Chip – Munchies for TV

15. Micro Chip – What’s left in the bag after you eat chips

16. Modem – What you did to the weeds growing in the driveway

17. Dot matrix – Old Dan Matrix’s wife

18. Lap top – Where the beer spills when you nod off

19. Software – The dumb plastic knives and forks at McDonalds

20. Hardware – Real stainless steel cutlery

21. Mouse – What makes the holes in the Cheerio box

22. Main frame – What holds the house up, hopefully

23. Enter – The only way to win those magazine sweepstakes

24. Web – What a spider makes

25. Web site – High corners of the ceiling

26. Cursor – Someone who swears

27. Search Engine – What you do when the car dies

28. Screen Saver – repair kit for the torn window screen on the camp

29. Home Page – map you keep in your back pocket in case you get lost in the woods

30. Upgrade – Steep hill

31. Server – waitress

32. Mail Server – male waitress. Darn few in Maine

33. MS DOS – Some new disease they discovered

34. Sound Card – One of them technological birthday cards that plays music when you open it

35 User – The neighbor who keeps borrowing your stuff

36. Browser – A problem moose in the garden or blueberry patch

37. Online – good sign there’ll be clean clothes this week

38. Off line – the clothes pins let go and the laundry falls on the ground – better luck next week

 

Tamara's Journeys

Journeys as great as the destinations.