Tamara's Journeys

Journeys as great as the destinations.

Friday Funnies

May 15th, 2015

Yooperland

Last chance for Yooper jokes. I tried them out on a few Yoopers and learned that they enjoy a good laugh, even at their expense. If you’re still unsure where Yooperland is click here: http://dayoopers.com/whatwher.html

Who said Yoopers were behind in technology? After having dug to a depth of 100 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion, that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 200 feet, and shortly after, a story in the LA Times read: ” California archaeologists, finding traces of 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.”

One week later, The Escanaba Press a local newspaper in Upper Michigan, reported the following: After digging over 300 feet in his pasture, Ole Olson, a self taught archaeologist, reported that he’d found absolutely nothing. Ole has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Upper Michigan had already gone wireless.

You Know You Are A True Michigander (Yooper) When:

  1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
  2. “Vacation” means going down south to Petoskey or Green Bay for the weekend.
  3. You measure distance in hours.
  4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once!
  5. You often switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again.
  6. You find 0 degrees “a little chilly.”
  7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.
  8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
  9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
  10. You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.
  11. You carry jumper cables in your car & your girlfriend knows how to use them.
  12. There are seven empty cars running in the parking lot at Menard’s at any given time.
  13. You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
  14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
  15. You refer to the Wolverines as “we.”
  16. You know! All 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
  17. You can identify an Ohio and Wisconsin accent.
  18. You have no problem spelling Escanaba.
  19. You consider the lower Peninsula exotic. ya hey!
  20. You don’t have a coughing fit from one sip of Stroh’s.
  21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a cow next to your blue spruce.
  22. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
  23. Down south to you means south of Da bridge, the deep south is south of Detroit.
  24. A brat is something you eat.
  25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new machine shed.
  26. You go out to fish fry every Friday at the Elks, Moose or VFW.
  27. You know how to polka.
  28. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
  29. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

A Canadian decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. For his first chapter he decided to write about famous American churches. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Portland, Maine, thinking that he would work his way across the country from east to west.

On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read “$10,000 per call.” The Canadian, intrigued, asked a pastor who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The pastor replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God. The Canadian thanked the pastor and went along his way.

Next stop was in Concord, New Hampshire. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Portland and he asked a nearby nun what it’s purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God. “O.K., thank you,” said the Canadian.

He then traveled to Montpelier, Albany, Columbus, Detroit, and Chicago, and in every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same “$10,000 per call” sign under it.

Finally, the Canadian arrived in Paradise, Michigan, and again, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read “10 cents per call.” The Canadian was surprised so he asked the clergyman about the sign. “Pastor, I’ve traveled all over America and I’ve seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I’m told that it is a direct line to heaven, but in all the other states the price per call was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?”

The pastor smiled and answered, “You’re in The Upper Peninsula, son. It’s a local call.”

 

Ohyeahdonchano I like da Yoopers. Yoobetcha I do!

 

 

 

 

Tamara's Journeys

Journeys as great as the destinations.