Describe Your Suitcase
I was flying into Portland last week and when I went to find my luggage, it seemed to be missing. So I went to the airlines customer service center to find out how to locate it. So the clerk asks me “Ma’am, can you describe your suitcase?” So I tell her, “it’s a hot pink suitcase shaped like a star”. She looked up and asked “Okay, and is there anything distinctive about your bag?”
Lost My Luggage
I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands.
‘Now,’ she asked me, ‘Has your plane arrived yet?’ ….
The Pilot’s Backpack
Sal, a pilot for a major airline, carries his running clothes in a backpack, freeing his hands for his luggage. On one trip, he told me, he noticed passers-by grinning at him in the terminal. Sal smiled back. Maybe some of them were on my last flight, he thought.
His ego was brimming until he got to the cockpit and stowed his bags. That’s when he saw the “Parachute” sign his co-workers had stuck to his backpack.
As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.
When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. “Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?” she asked.
“No, thanks,” replied the vultures. “They’re carrion.”
Without Your Knowledge
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?” To which I replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know? ” He smiled knowingly and nodded, “That’s why we ask.”